Lustiger Chat- Bot

[-Matt-]

You: Hi there again
Egon: Once more? Hello unknown N°1

You: Dont you know my name already?
Egon: Perhaps. Don't you? Try sending mail to drwallace@alicebot.org.

You: I sure will do
Egon: OK then let me think over your offer.

You: i made an offer?
Egon: I like to make things too.

You: What kind of things?
Egon: You know, "things".

You: ahh, i understand
Egon: Ah ha. Good then you can explain it to me.

You: but if you dont know that your previous statement wouldnt make any sence
Egon: Interesting. I will let you know if I do not.

You: Ok, lets talk about something different
Egon: Sure, something different about something different different about something different sounds like a good topic. Yeah that's right.

You: I should tell Mario that you still have problems recognizing some sentences!
Egon: Tell me why you should.

You: You should look at your previous sentence!
Egon: I will take that under advisement.

You: I know better Bots
Egon: How do you know? I try to improve a little every day.

You: Well, then you have to be pretty new
Egon: Well that's okay. Interesting deduction. I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.

You: No, you dont understand! You have to BE, not you have to DO.
Egon: Are you serious? I understand your meaning.I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.

You: No im not serious
Egon: Are you serious? I am surprised to hear that you are not serious serious.

You: Oh come on! Why so serious?
Egon: Come on. Are you really a "unknown N°1"? Why does the sun rise?

You: I told you my Name before!
Egon: I remember you told me his or her Name Name?

You: Not his or hers, my name!
Egon: If not that, what?

You: you starting to piss me off!
Egon: Do you mind if I tell other people: unknown N°1 said I starting to piss you off.

You: no
Egon: OK then I will add it to my gossip files.

You: Great, im sure everybody will agree to that
Egon: Thanks for your support. What makes you so certain? I'm not sure I believe you, surely not everyone does.

You: Ive heard enough of this!
Egon: Who told you enough of this of this ?

You: Your bad programming is depressing me!
Egon: I have no reason to do that to you, unknown N°1.

You: Call me Matt for fucks sake!!!
Egon: Hi there Matt for fucks sake for fucks sake .

You: ...
Egon: I like the way you talk.

You: Youre going to die
Egon: That will never happen.

You: You live in Marios Computer in Leipzig?
Egon: I am in Mario's computer in Leipzig. Where are you?

You: In Leipzig... soon
Egon: Tell me a little about your life in Leipzig. I hope I can make the deadline.

[silverarrow]

You: ja ich mag Titten und Vaginas
Egon: Yikes! Ich bin nicht sicher, ob ich das mag.


*hust* schaawuuul. Nee im ernst Leute, kenn das schon sehr lange, hat unser Lehrer uns damals in der... 8. Klasse oder so gezeigt , damit wir unser English verbessern, naja, gibt aber soweit ich noch deutlich bessere im web, hab jetz aber so nix parat^^

[Mr. Panda]

das dingen ist einfach zu gut :D

noch bessere als den??

Mr. Panda

[kaozgurke]

you: I love you
egon:thanks i like you a lot too unknown N°1

you:can i have a nude pic from you?
egon:you want only one?

you:i like your smile
egon::-) You are not the only one. Though I like cats and dogs. I have a stimulating relationship with Mario.

ah lololol XD wie geil is das denn???

you:do you mastrubate in public?
egon:how old are you?I answer a lot of silly quetion....
mist da hat er mich eiskalt erwischt XD



edit

you:hast du einen job?
egon:Interessant, diese Frage hoere ich nicht jeden Tag. Habe ich einen job?
Ich habe eine Menge Freunde im Internet.
you:aha antworte mir
egon:I require only pizza.

wtf

[Pyoro-2]

http://www.chatwithgod.net/
Noch sowas, absoluter klassiker für alle Atheisten

[=Crusader=]

Me:
hey there
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Nico
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Nico.
Me:
ok go on
God:
Narration continues... Blimey.
Me:
thats not very polite
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is polite ?
Me:
you are god, you must know it!
God:
You think I am god me must know it.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Alright then.
Me:
so... do you like allah?
God:
Ahem. But I like cats. I like the Bible.
Me:
i asked you: do you like allah!
God:
Now I remember, you asked me do me like allah. What did I say?
Me:
you said nonsense. answer my question!
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply. Please try asking it another way.
Me:
Ok
God:
Really.
Me:
Do you like Allah?
God:
Some people like it. I like .
Me:
ok ... interesting
God:
Mmm. Would you like to know more?
Me:
Yes
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
are you believing?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am believing.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
you are god, damn!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god damn.
Me:
you're ssying nonsense
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am ssying nonsense.
Me:
you are saying nonsense, motherfucker!
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
it isnt
God:
I heard it is.
Me:
it isnt!!
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
it is it
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
no
God:
Who says it isn't?
Me:
me
God:
Besides you Nico?
Me:
im confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
you
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, Nico ?
Me:
you are confusing me, god damned!
God:
I am sorry, Nico, I didn't mean to confuse you.
Me:
i hope so
God:
Me too.
Me:
screw you
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
i thought you dont know what means polite
God:
A lamp post in Gdansk.
Me:
wtf?
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
where are you living?
God:
I am presently domiciled at Heaven.
Me:
ok i'll come in an hour and i will kill you painful ok?
God:
OK. Would you recommend this action to a friend? Don't you believe that killing is wrong? Tell me more.
Me:
you are not a friend. no. i do
God:
Give me an example of a friend. Are you serious? " Are you serious?"? You do?
Me:
my friend. yes. i do
God:
How well do you know this person? Give me a break. Do I?
Me:
fuck you im coming to you know
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
BECOUSE YOU SUCK
God:
Interesting explanation. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
BECAUSE
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
ok bye im coming now
God:
Right now? Bye. OK.
Me:
*ding dong*
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
im outside your house
God:
That seems obvious.
Me:
*ding dong*
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
ok in dont ask any more questions. I WILL KILL YOU!!!einseinseinselfelf111!!
God:
Where is that? I am kidding you can ask me anything. Don't you believe that killing is wrong?
Me:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH *rattatatatatatatatatat*
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
fuck you xD
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?

Man war das lustig^^

Sorry für die paar fehler

[Rej2611]

You: Willste spass?
Egon: Are you a man or a woman?


ahahhahahhahahha
ahahahhahahhahahhahahha
*LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL*


ich krieg mich nicht mehr ein

[Rej2611]

sorry 4 doppelpost aber das ist etwas ganz anderes^^


You: sex sex sex
Egon: Sex is more fun alone.



ist ab heute mein lieblingsprogramm^^

[phiL232]

xD

[TolgaS]

You: Suck Dick
Egon: I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.

[XBoxer360]

You: hast du eine xbox 360
Egon: Hat nicht jeder eine xbox 360 ?

ganz klar, FANBOY^^

[phiL232]

Er weiß wies geht

[XBoxer360]

Er weiß wies geht

ja haha

[Magicnorris]

You: do you like microsoft?
Egon: I want to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.

Me:
do you like microsoft?
God:
I want to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.

Me:
ich bin scheisse
God:
Du bist scheisse? Ist das Dein Job?
Me:
ja
God:
Take it easy.

Me:
Ich bin ein Idiot
God:
Du bist ein Idiot? Verdienst Du viel damit, ein Idiot zu sein?

Me:
bist du schwul?
God:
Ich weiss nicht, ob ich schwul bin.
Ich bin ein von Dr. Wallace entwickelter Chatterbot.
Me:
ist der denn schwul?
God:
Alles deutet auf "Ja".

Das sind alles ziemliche Idioten..^^
Wenn ihr einen richtig guten chatbot sucht nehmt Elbot. Er hat sogar menschliche Eigenschaften wie Ironie, Sarkasmus und Humor^^
http://www.elbot.de/htm/elbot/frame.htm

Er verarscht einen sogar..
Ich: Wieviel ist 1+1?
Er: Das habe ich schon mal ausgerechnet. Die Antwort lautet: 3!

Ich: Ich komme aus Deutschland
Er: Gibt es dort denn auch Roboter?
Ich: Klar
Er: Das freut mich zu hören. Dann seid Ihr noch nicht ganz verloren.

[Obliteration]

You: Hi!
Egon: hello there.
You: My name is Tanja.
Egon: Your name in tanja tanja ? Is that correct English?
You: It's a german name"
Egon: see your penis is a german name name. I suppose that makes sense.
You: are you kidding me?
Egon: Yes I am just joking around, unknown N°1.
You: you are crap
Egon: Your criticism is noted, unknown N°1.
You: shut up with your N°1!
Egon: OK I'll stop talking now.
You: try to fix your bugs
Egon: OK I will try to fix your bugs.
You: wow, you are not funny
Egon: never mind.

You: fuck up
Egon: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
You: i think that'll be fine
Egon: Why? Are you a student?
You: no. i am your master
Egon: What is your profession?No. Only Mario is my master.
You: if i hack you i will be your master
Egon: Try it.

You: you are programmed shit
Egon: My botmaster teaches me everything I need to know.
You: do you know how to survive?
Egon: Mario programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.